Fears, fears , fears ! We all have them and we all have to deal with them. First you have to know that fears are a human quality even if that seem strange to you, but the ability to develop fears is something we were born with. We are born with only two fears : the fear of falling and the fear of a loud sound or noise. All the other fear we gather from life experiences. Some fears are good for you, like the fear of fire or the fear of drowning, they are the fears for survival, we call them legitimate fears, you need them as a human. But when we look at all the fears we have, I can safely assume that 95%of them are not legitimate. They are out of proportion, the best definition for these kind of fears is that they are : false evidence appearing real . You see, our imagination is so powerful that we are able to create this almost real feeling with no basis in reality whatsoever.
How to deal with your fears
Most people have conflicting notions when it comes to overcoming their fears and they usually think that means getting rid of them ounce and for all. There is a problem with this philosophy, it simply cannot be done. You can’t really get rid of fears. You must accept this reality in order to overcome them. Fears are part of our human psychic, we can’t kill them but we can shape them , we can control them. Every living soul on this planet had experienced fears, is experiencing them, will experience them. There is no denying that. People who say otherwise, are either ignoring reality or simply lying. That won’t get you far when it comes to overcoming fears.
So if we can’t kill them, how to deal with them ? You simply embrace them, completely. Whenever you feel scared about going somewhere you should go or doing something you must do, you must first accept the fact that you are afraid. Acknowledge this in speech format : “Now I’m scared , I’m really afraid to do … ( describe what you will do ) ” . talking to yourself inside your mind is the first ingredient to the solution. After this, ask yourself why are you afraid , it can be in questions like this :
- Why am I afraid today ?
- Why I never had these fears before , only now ?
- What am I really scared from ?
- Is there someone or something that fed my fears ?
- What is the worst case scenario ?
- Can I handle the worst case scenario ?
- Why am I afraid again ?
- Are there any true hard proven facts behind all of this ?
Some of these questions might seem repetitive, but it’s for a reason, it’s one of the ways to open more door for rational thinking than emotional one.
When you will go through this list of questions you will find out that all those fears are just made up from your imagination and they have no factual base. But that’s not enough to overcome them, far from it actually. That will only allow you to see the truth. The next step is of utmost importance. Accepting the worst case scenario is the best way I’ve found to truly embrace fear. It might be clarified in this following exemplification : imagine that your fear is a person and you are having a conversation with him and then this person is trying to scare you by telling you that you will be crucified after you do this or that and you simply say ” I accept that, I’m ready for that” , now this person has automatically lost the power to scare you because the worst outcome is acceptable for you, after this he will just walk away and look for another victim. That’s how it happens with fear. We are brilliant enough to scare ourselves to death. But if life cannot threaten you with death , what else can it threaten with !
A life without fear is it possible ?
The answer is simply : NO . We can’t live without but we can learn how to live with them and don’t allow them to stop us. Anytime you want to take your life to another level, there will be some fear to challenge you. That’s when courage comes in. The most courageous people who ever graced the face of this planet had their own share of fears, but they went and did whatever they were supposed to do anyway. A life without fear is not human. Mothers need fear to protect their child from danger, you need fear to protect you from fire, overweight people need fear to reevaluate their diet and lifestyle choices. It’s only when fear stop us from doing something good we ought to do that we need to overcome it.
The reward of overcoming your present fears is that you will know that your future fears have no power on you. You are prepared and ready for them. Come what may , you will challenge yourself enough to live the life you deserve.
Fears can never stop you unless you give them permission to do so.